Life Update.

Hello all.

I know, I said I was back in early November. But then I went MIA for another couple of months. I did not make time for the blog. Overall, the last few months of 2010 was a very scattered me. 2011 is already looking better as far as getting my life in order.

To start this new year out, I will update you on the current events of my life. These are in no particular order of importance other then work is the single most important thing to me in life. So that is at the top, the rest follow as they popped into my head.

Investment Gurus- Life at the office is great. It took me about six months to gain some ground on what I wanted out of this career. Now I know. 2011 is looking to be a very successful year.

The Boyz- All excellent still. They make a challenging job more than fun. As a side note, my Mom got me this sign that says "Behind every successful woman is herself." I think it's cute. But the reality is, the Boyz have already helped me more than I deserve. Whether it be explaining the simplest concept, giving me people to call, or even taking me on appointments. When I get where I'm going, I certainly won't have done it alone.

Tucker Max- Currently re-obsessing about my fav internet bachelor. I just wish he would realize soon he is my soulmate. I will be filling out his dating application (after I get back on the health train which is discussed next).

Health- I am currently getting that part of my life back in order. I put on what we so fondly call the "AXA 15". Luckily, it wasn't actually 15 (otherwise, being a midget, I would look morbidly obese). I did however stop working out and eat as if I was a grizzly bear about to hibernate. Like really. Why I thought it was okay to consumer 5000 calories of processed food and beer a day is beyond me. I've put the kibosh on the situation and have begun Operation Anorexia as of last week. I will be back into fighting shape soon. Can't wait to waive to my future ex-boyfriends out on Coronado again rather than hang my head in chubby shame like today.

Jersey Shore- Vinny is the man. Why does he get hotter every season? Why do I continue to watch this? And why would I consider having an affair on Tucker Max with The Situation?

Taylor Swift (yes I'm digressing)- Currently listening. Love that song "Mine". Makes me want to register for eharmony and find my faux soulmate. But then the song ends ever so abruptly. Perhaps there is a correlation?

Men- Mostly just spinster complaints. I am seriously considering getting Snooki and the Situation (already named cats courtesy of N-dizzle) and declaring defeat. The other day I met with a networking cohort and she was asking me about personal things. When I told her I was single, she gave me this pity look (her bitch version of the Dr. Drew pity look on Celebrity Rehap). I kid you not. Full on sideways concerned pouty lips. It was like this look of "oh poor girl, can't land a man". Then she went on for like five minutes about how I should not worry and that "he is out there". I hadn't started worrying until she said not to worry. I almost interrupted her to point out that perhaps "he is not out there" but then she looked so hopeful and I could tell she was smugly complimenting herself on what a good Samaritan she was for "cheering up the soon-to-be -spinster with twelve cats". Mostly my largest problem is this: I suffer from constant crush resuscitation. Come on girls- you know to what I'm referring. You convince yourself you are DONE with what's-his-name. He's rubbish. Has all sorts of "issues" most of which encompass the general feeling of "he's just not that into you." Then, like a dead phoenix rising from the ashes, he recaptures your original affections. Then he inevitably disappoints you by being himself (i.e. not Jack Bauer) and the cycle repeats. While this seems like a cycle of insanity- I mainly blame boredom. I only repeat these cycles because I don't have anyone new to throw into the rotation. In sum, I wanted to stop this woman from so eagerly assuring me. Because, in the end I am an optimist. I know what I want. I may not know "who" it is yet, but I know it exists. I've seen it. If it's one thing I'm good at it's identifying what I want and going for it.

The Book-Roary and I have an idea. It is awesome. Full of hilariousness and anecdotes. I'm viewing it as therapy (much like the blog). Updates as we develop the idea more. For now, if that horrendous "Eat, Pray, Love" book can be a bestseller and a movie so bad I wanted to claw my own eyes out with a toothpick, I think we might have a real shot at an actually good read.

Californication- Love that show. So glad Hank Moody is back.

That is all for now. May the force be with you. Happy New Year to you all!

Mediocre at best.

Firstly, congrats to you Giants fans. I was not pulling for you, but you earned it (more or less). I’ll be sure to count how many of you fall off the bandwagon when your team downward spirals next year.

Today’s topic is mediocrity. I was sitting on my couch last night, being the typical mediocre person I am. I was calmly flipping through the Economist and enjoying my story when I started mulling. I could be a much more productive and quality human being if I spent that last hour of the day doing something to either improve myself physically (i.e. workout), mentally (i.e. continue my biography obsession on George Washington), or monetarily (i.e. make 30 more phone calls) when really I was just sitting there being the average Joe and failing to improve my life situation in any way.

Hours before last night’s mediocre performance, I was at work joking about mediocrity with N-dizzle. We decided that if we performed at peak performance everyday we would have nothing to strive for. True, but really, it was just a justification for giving our less than best efforts (our lacking efforts if you will).

I started comparing my average, run-of-the-mill behavior to my life heros (fictional and real). I bet Brit Hume does not ever sit on the couch in his sweats watching TiVoed daytime dramas. No, instead he fills the Fox Newsroom with political insight and intelligence. I imagine his “break time” includes reading political manifestos and debating heads of state. Buffy the Vampire Slayer certainly never sat around being mediocre, she was too busy saving the world. She took her job so seriously she killed the love of her life and herself to save the world (and note, these are two separate occasions). For that matter, even the gang of Scoobies didn’t waste time on mediocrity and they didn’t have super powers. I’ll give you Bridget Jones took mediocre and made it a best selling novel and two blockbusters. But let’s face it, she was a shitshow and only excelled at one thing, landing Mark Darcy.

The central question becomes, why don’t I strive for peak performance in all things in life? Is it like anything, perfection is impossible so we don’t even bother to try to achieve it? Or maybe if I did strive for my actual potential and failed I would not have the excuse “Well I didn’t try anyway”. If I’m going to take Ayn Rand’s basic philosophy seriously I must daily strive for individual improvement. Sitting on the couch at the cost of improving myself may be a habit I need to work on breaking. Realistically, we cannot work 24 hours a day at anything. But, I can certainly work on putting in those extra couple hours towards productivity and the hours I already put in I can improve in quality.

Dear Boyz. I love you all.

Two days ago I sat down to blog about the latest in my eharmony prospecting. Prior to my bitchfest 2010 via the blogosphere, I lamented regarding the horrendousness of eharmony to a couple of my coworkers (i.e. the Boyz), and new characters on the blog, N-dizzle and QuackAttack. N-dizzle made a fair point that I reject suitors left and right for no concrete reason. He suggested that I would immediately dismiss any one of the Boyz for a date had I met them on eharmony even though I obviously love hanging out with them in real life. The point is, while I do not want to actually husband up any of the coworkers, I would have a great night out on the town with every single one of them. That got me to thinking. If only I could wrap all the Boyz up into one man, that man I would indeed want to husband up. So tonight, I bring you the office gossip loveletter.

Below I have listed the qualities I most admire from each of the gang and wish I could steal for my future first husband.

N-dizzle is the intellect. We can talk about anything and everything. He makes even the most impossible (think life insurance) intellectually hilarious and has great insight. (He did indeed prompt this blog.) I need that overly intellectual analysis to keep me on my toes, and to challenge me to leave my comfort zone of intellectual laziness.

QuackAttack is the hilarity. He makes everything funny. He has the best laugh of anyone I know. QuackAttack's laughter is contagious and makes whatever is going on at that moment ten times funnier. Enjoying life is my number one goal. I need a man who wants to spend more time laughing than anything else no matter what we are doing and where life takes us.

BigGuns is the chivalry when I thought it was dead. A true gentlemen, BigGuns understands the art of dating and seduction. He always makes a woman feel special even when it's just the usual suspects at the Stro. A midwestern boy at heart, his manners are something I could take home to my mother and be more than proud.

Bossman has always believed in me. He hired me with faith that I can succeed. Even when I'm not sure, he has never faltered. Because he believes, I know I can be successful. It is important that a partner believe in you when sometimes you don't have that ability.

BFighter is the commitment and amazing future father that any girl would want in a potential suitor. Of the "marrying kind" that San Diego seriously lacks in, he spends his weekends committed to family. In a world full of alcoholic partying 20 somethings, this man brings the commitment I thought was nonexistent in Southern California.

GiAAnts is the adolescent crush one never wants to forget. Time will paint this one as a future sweetheart, but for now he is a little too much fun and a little too unavailable. (Albeit in the best way possible.) With his charm, he will keep the spark alive and with his fun he will keep you guessing. Relationships can get stale, but with this boy's quality, my relationship will stay alive.

DeathBenefit is the best friend and partner every committed relationship demands. The most loyal among the Boyz, he is never offended or mad, I can tell him just about anything (and pretty much have). When things get tough in the future you need that steady comrade who you can trust with your deepest darkest secrets.

In sum, you can see I'm one lucky girl. Surrounded by great coworkers who really bring the fun (sometimes a bit too much). Each one of them has so many qualities I love, if I could just pick out my favorites and make a Frankenstein like "super boyfriend" (that is not actually a monster and instead Bruce Willis hot) I would have the perfect man to husband up. I'll keep searching for now. But I must admit, being surrounded by such great people everyday, the bar is only being raised on a weekly basis.