Disclaimer

I am not here to build your self esteem. I am not the torch to illuminate your ignorance. Most importantly, I'm not here to make friends or influence people. If you do not know me, I direct you to my first entry as a means of introducing who I am and where I'm coming from.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Mediocre at best.

Firstly, congrats to you Giants fans. I was not pulling for you, but you earned it (more or less). I’ll be sure to count how many of you fall off the bandwagon when your team downward spirals next year.

Today’s topic is mediocrity. I was sitting on my couch last night, being the typical mediocre person I am. I was calmly flipping through the Economist and enjoying my story when I started mulling. I could be a much more productive and quality human being if I spent that last hour of the day doing something to either improve myself physically (i.e. workout), mentally (i.e. continue my biography obsession on George Washington), or monetarily (i.e. make 30 more phone calls) when really I was just sitting there being the average Joe and failing to improve my life situation in any way.

Hours before last night’s mediocre performance, I was at work joking about mediocrity with N-dizzle. We decided that if we performed at peak performance everyday we would have nothing to strive for. True, but really, it was just a justification for giving our less than best efforts (our lacking efforts if you will).

I started comparing my average, run-of-the-mill behavior to my life heros (fictional and real). I bet Brit Hume does not ever sit on the couch in his sweats watching TiVoed daytime dramas. No, instead he fills the Fox Newsroom with political insight and intelligence. I imagine his “break time” includes reading political manifestos and debating heads of state. Buffy the Vampire Slayer certainly never sat around being mediocre, she was too busy saving the world. She took her job so seriously she killed the love of her life and herself to save the world (and note, these are two separate occasions). For that matter, even the gang of Scoobies didn’t waste time on mediocrity and they didn’t have super powers. I’ll give you Bridget Jones took mediocre and made it a best selling novel and two blockbusters. But let’s face it, she was a shitshow and only excelled at one thing, landing Mark Darcy.

The central question becomes, why don’t I strive for peak performance in all things in life? Is it like anything, perfection is impossible so we don’t even bother to try to achieve it? Or maybe if I did strive for my actual potential and failed I would not have the excuse “Well I didn’t try anyway”. If I’m going to take Ayn Rand’s basic philosophy seriously I must daily strive for individual improvement. Sitting on the couch at the cost of improving myself may be a habit I need to work on breaking. Realistically, we cannot work 24 hours a day at anything. But, I can certainly work on putting in those extra couple hours towards productivity and the hours I already put in I can improve in quality.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Was it me? Was it you? Does it even matter?

Are you a "what iffer" or a "nexter"? I think of people in two categories. Either they dwell on the past, analyzing it to death until they have wasted their present on "what ifs". Or they are the type of person that believes any reflection on past experiences is pointless and says "next" without regard to the life lesson. I am certainly a person of the later. I think I might have spent the last few years "nexting" many life lessons that seem to be hitting me now.
Randomly (and during a late viewing of O'Reilly) I started thinking about the one relationship in my life that I still deem a success. Yeah, we did not end up married or even friends (also, I think it is weird to maintain a relationship with exes, but that is for another blog) but this relationship was my life's largest influence on my current outlook on dating and relationships. Looking back, the simple answer to our end was that we grew apart. I generally label it that and move on. But that isn't really a fair analysis of what happened.
Maybe my lack of reflection is as simple as not wanting to admit one day someone stopped loving me. Isn't that our deepest darkest fear? One day we wake up and our heart's desire no longer cares for us?
Sometimes I think it was my inability to emotionally commit entirely to someone who was just waiting for me to let him in fully. Walls do not build strong relationships.
So was it me? Or was it him? Was I the impossible one to live with? Did I drive him insane with my ultra type-A behavior and mild chick-flick obsession? Or was he the one who just couldn't be strong enough to see it through?
My epiphany tonight was that why it ended does not even matter. I spent so long avoiding the analysis of the relationship that I missed the whole point of the experience. What matters is what I take from it. Through our strengths I learned that love and commitment are real life possibilities. Sometimes another person's needs and wants are as important as your own. I learned that partnerships with respect and consideration are much stronger than doing it alone. Through our failures I realized that any relationship takes work and strength to carry the weight of the tough times when the other cannot. Most importantly, I learned that the end of anything will not break you unless you let it.
I'm not sure what my conclusion is. I think it's the central question of why do I now approach dating and love from such a jaded perspective when in reality my past has taught me that love exists and when you find it can be amazing. In fact, even when it fails, you gain belief in yourself as an individual.
I will try to remember this conclusion from now on. I cannot go on expecting so very little from the male population, when my first real life experience was truly amazing even though it ended. That is simply unfair and a fine example of cognitive dissonance.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Dear Boyz. I love you all.

Two days ago I sat down to blog about the latest in my eharmony prospecting. Prior to my bitchfest 2010 via the blogosphere, I lamented regarding the horrendousness of eharmony to a couple of my coworkers (i.e. the Boyz), and new characters on the blog, N-dizzle and QuackAttack. N-dizzle made a fair point that I reject suitors left and right for no concrete reason. He suggested that I would immediately dismiss any one of the Boyz for a date had I met them on eharmony even though I obviously love hanging out with them in real life. The point is, while I do not want to actually husband up any of the coworkers, I would have a great night out on the town with every single one of them. That got me to thinking. If only I could wrap all the Boyz up into one man, that man I would indeed want to husband up. So tonight, I bring you the office gossip loveletter.

Below I have listed the qualities I most admire from each of the gang and wish I could steal for my future first husband.

N-dizzle is the intellect. We can talk about anything and everything. He makes even the most impossible (think life insurance) intellectually hilarious and has great insight. (He did indeed prompt this blog.) I need that overly intellectual analysis to keep me on my toes, and to challenge me to leave my comfort zone of intellectual laziness.

QuackAttack is the hilarity. He makes everything funny. He has the best laugh of anyone I know. QuackAttack's laughter is contagious and makes whatever is going on at that moment ten times funnier. Enjoying life is my number one goal. I need a man who wants to spend more time laughing than anything else no matter what we are doing and where life takes us.

BigGuns is the chivalry when I thought it was dead. A true gentlemen, BigGuns understands the art of dating and seduction. He always makes a woman feel special even when it's just the usual suspects at the Stro. A midwestern boy at heart, his manners are something I could take home to my mother and be more than proud.

Bossman has always believed in me. He hired me with faith that I can succeed. Even when I'm not sure, he has never faltered. Because he believes, I know I can be successful. It is important that a partner believe in you when sometimes you don't have that ability.

BFighter is the commitment and amazing future father that any girl would want in a potential suitor. Of the "marrying kind" that San Diego seriously lacks in, he spends his weekends committed to family. In a world full of alcoholic partying 20 somethings, this man brings the commitment I thought was nonexistent in Southern California.

GiAAnts is the adolescent crush one never wants to forget. Time will paint this one as a future sweetheart, but for now he is a little too much fun and a little too unavailable. (Albeit in the best way possible.) With his charm, he will keep the spark alive and with his fun he will keep you guessing. Relationships can get stale, but with this boy's quality, my relationship will stay alive.

DeathBenefit is the best friend and partner every committed relationship demands. The most loyal among the Boyz, he is never offended or mad, I can tell him just about anything (and pretty much have). When things get tough in the future you need that steady comrade who you can trust with your deepest darkest secrets.

In sum, you can see I'm one lucky girl. Surrounded by great coworkers who really bring the fun (sometimes a bit too much). Each one of them has so many qualities I love, if I could just pick out my favorites and make a Frankenstein like "super boyfriend" (that is not actually a monster and instead Bruce Willis hot) I would have the perfect man to husband up. I'll keep searching for now. But I must admit, being surrounded by such great people everyday, the bar is only being raised on a weekly basis.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

I'm back.

Hello all. I have not been on the blogging train for the last few months. I am going to try to be more frequent. Something about writing and telling stories helps me deal with stress. Maybe because when I write for an audience I try to make my general musings entertaining, and as I go along I realize that whatever complaint I have is indeed hilarious. If you can't laugh at life, then really what do you have.
Summer Summary: I have been working the new job. Finally getting into the swing of things here. More on that later I'm sure. But for now let me just say, likely there will be a few new characters on the blog due to my coworkers being awesome.
Bender weekends update: I have been mixing up all my weekends. Some are highly responsible and others are not. By not I mean, complete shitshows which make me wonder how old am I really turning next month.
Politics Update: Cannot wait for the House and Senate to change over. I took almost a four month break from the daily obsession with DC scandaliociousness...but I'm pleased to report I am back and in full swing. I had not planned on taking the break, it happened naturally. I was so depressed that our country actually voted for a man who hates the foundations of our society and spends his Presidency complaining about our alleged faults to foreigners and when he is home spends his time trying to ruin everything we stand for...but all that for a new blog. The important thing is that I am back and ready to get as involved as ever. I was missing a huge part of myself and did not even realize it until I turned O'Reilly on about a week ago. Yes, you can thank one of my life heros for saving my political soul. For the rest of you- go out and vote. Especially in CA it is more important than ever that we throw these jackasses out of office.
Dating Update: For the regular readers, let me assure you, there is dating hilarity about to ensue. I will not disappoint. You guessed it, I registered (again) for eharmony and am going to "try" it again. I have not corresponded with anyone yet, but I think this weekend may be the beginning of trainwreck possibilities....
For now I will leave you with an observation I had this week.
All of us at some point have drunk dialed and/or texted the object (or victim) of our affections. Let me explain to men: when you drunk dial a girl the assumption is that the girl is on "the list." You, the girl, are one of the many who said boy hopes to "hang out" with at a very late or early morning time on a weekend. Which is fine. Just be sure when you do drunk dial that you want to let on to a girl that she is category "drunk dial" for a good time. This scenario happened to me a few weeks ago with a friend who I did not realize had placed me on his "list". It sorta hurt my feelings. I am all for people having a good time, but I have not engaged in behavior to encourage this friend to conclude I am a "category drunk dial". I'm still mulling over why it hurt my feelings. Maybe it was that I don't want to be on someone's "list"; Rather, I want to be the only name on a man's list (we all have impossible fantasies). Being on a list takes away any pretentions that I am special or one of a kind (an assumption that I cling to heavily). Mostly, I thought this person was a friend and knew me pretty well, but turns out, he does not in fact know me or care about me any more than he does the rest of his list.
Of course this only applies when the person is not a significant other. Drunk calls and texts from significant others are entirely acceptable and in my case encouraged.
For now I'm out. Gots to head home and make some dinner for my fabulous eharmony surfing self.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Guys, girls, and the games we play.

After getting home earlier than I anticipated on a Saturday night I promptly flipped the tv on to watch what is probably my 50th viewing of "he's just not that into you." It got me to thinking about my last 15 years of attempted dating. We are constantly barraged with tidbits of advice about how to go about dating. This movie being no exception, advice comes from all over; The office, the girls, the boys, the magazines, the tv...it is a never ending campaign to educate us on how to navigate the dating game.
I reached a couple conclusions while pondering through this movie. Thinking back to all the discussions I have with people about dating, I realized- there is a huge difference between what we say we want and what we actually look for and attain.
Let's first address the shallow. A friend of a friend and I got to talking about his ideal girl. He described her has a hot blond, with long hair, fake tatas, and a southern accent. Original, I know. Come to find out his current girlfriend and potential fiance (he is still contemplating) has short dark hair, is from Long Island, and is president of the itty-bitty-titty committee. Slightly different result than his input predicted.
I have a girl friend who wants to find a stable provider that shares her same religion. Yet, in the last ten years she has dated no one of her own religion and the last three men have been unemployed (indefinitely). Not to be snarky, but you cannot live on love.
Moving to the more emotional connection. I have another friend who constantly complains that he wants to find a good girl and settle down. It's the general "I'm done partying and want to find quality." Alas, this guy continues to be one of the biggest partying sluts I know. I have to call bullshit when his weekends consist of grenade hunting downtown for a drunken good time. Last time I checked, quality girls do not give it up after a few drinks (but we are at Whiskey Girl- I'm proof!). This scenario is really like four-slash-every guy I know.
I do the same thing as these poor unfortunate examples. I throw myself temporary pity parties about being single (this is usually after I hear a great couples story, but I always realize that those involved in the story will inevitably divorce or break up). But then, at the end of the day, I engage in behavior that only dooms me to locking down a halfway decent man. I used to think it was I was too picky. Then I thought I wasn't picky enough. Then I realized that according to society there are games to be played and I don't know how to even put my pawn on the board let alone draw a card to move forward. Fuck, I probably don't even own the game I'm trying to play!
I guess my conclusion after watching that horrid movie that I not-so-secretly love, is that we can only control our own behavior. Yeah, I too would love to have some hotass bar manager fall madly in love with me after I act like a complete psycho and stalk his friend. However, not sure that is in the cards. But what may be in the cards is to have realistic expectations. There are plenty of crapbags, both men and women, and the only way you are going to succeed in weeding out the idiots, it to get to work and starting spraying the roundup. This crap advice coming at us from all around makes the mistake of assuming that the third party who we are attempting to date is going to respond in the default manner the advice anticipates. It's a losing game.
As Bridge Jones famously said "Will find nice sensible boyfriend and stop forming romantic attachments to any of the following: alcoholics, workaholics, sexaholics, commitment-phobics, peeping-toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits, and perverts...I choose Vodka. And Chaka Khan."

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

"Yes" Man

Looks like I will be only updating this randomly now that life has gotten pretty busy for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining.

The new job got me to thinking. In the last month I've put myself out there in ways I did not know I was capable. This job may be the best decision of my adult life. Only time will tell; At this point I've made a list (short as I am tired and about to meet Cdizz) of the experiences that have made me realize that life is indeed filled with endless possibilities that only I can realize through hard work.

1) In the first month I already learned who I can count on. I have experienced every kind of reaction from friends and acquaintances when telling them about what I am doing. Overwhelmingly, people are supportive. Sadly, some disappoint. Mostly, I'm counting these new realizations as a definite bullet point in the positive category. Support has come from all over including people I never thought even remembered me when I called them.

2) I have developed relationships with people I did not know I even had something in common with. This list continues to grow daily, but for now I have several shoutouts. First, special recognition to BED. You may remember him from a previous blog, but this trainwreck neighbor is one of my biggest cheerleaders. He may be king of the underbelly, but he is probably the most dependable shitshow I've ever met. Also, must give a shoutout to the 401(k)Man who gave me some good advice and is not (entirely) the crazy liberal that I pictured; turns out we are alike in many ways. I guess what I can take from my experiences thus far, is that people have a tendency to surprise, and not in a bad way.

3) I am busier than I could possibly imagine (and it is only ramping up at this point). If you asked me two months ago I would have characterized myself as a homebody. Turns out, I am not. I actually like people. I enjoy going out with them and just generally being out in the world and interacting. Everyone loves those rare evenings when you stay in with a glass (or bottle) of wine and enjoy a good book, but I officially love going out and meeting new people even more than the book and wine in my fabulous appartment.

4) I’m busy doing things I would never actively pursue or experience. Through these new ventures I am forced to adjust and grow as a human being. Whether it’s potential client meeting or joining a volunteer board in the area, I am growing in ways that matter much more than an immediate paycheck.

For now, I just want to thank you all. Especially if you are reading this blog, you are probably one of those individuals who I can count on and I appreciate more than ever. I must leave you with the sage advice of my hero and God: “Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one's values”. Ayn Rand could not be more right.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

New Job. New Outlook on Business.

Hello all. I know it’s been a while since I blogged. I finished studying, testing, and have officially started my new job. Many of you have already had the pleasure of hearing all about my prior experience at the firm before this new place. I would like to take the time to make a simple five point comparison which only does my new position moderate justice in explaining the fabulousness that working hard and steady brings.

1. For the last two weeks I have walked into work around 7:30am only to be absolutely shocked that the Bossman and much of management is already here. Additionally, imagine my amazement to find that when I left between five and six they were STILL here in the office. This is certainly in sharp contrast to the “It’s 10:30am on a Tuesday, do you know where your boss is?” motto that my Protégé and I coined.

2. The second day here the Bossman told me he would want to talk to me Thursday regarding administration stuff. I assumed this was simply a passing comment, not an indication of the behavior he would actually exhibit on said Thursday. Picture my face when, you guessed it, he followed up his verbal undertaking that Thursday morning without any prompting from me. Definitely a change from the previous experience of having to keep track of my boss’s personal and professional “things to do” and then remind him to talk to me about admin issues.

3. I have not heard a single person fight with their girlfriend, wife, relative or friend on the phone once. This is amazing since I’m in a cubicle with a room full of at least 15 voices I can hear. I think we all know where I was going with this.

4. I heard the Bossman tell a client the entire truth about a service and then recommend that the client not use our services because it would not be cost effective. I know. It was amazing to see that lying to get clients is not something promoted here. So I guess I won’t be told to lie about my religion or what Church I attend?

5. Finally, in a serious conversation about the financial community and various individuals (which was done with the door closed and with discretion- whole other story really) the Bossman indicated that to him “integrity” is an integral part of success. I still can’t bring myself to believe that this statement was made in a place of business. I almost had to look up the very definition of integrity I had forgotten it for so long. I guess that means I should not plan on lying, cheating, stealing, or getting rich off the backs of others then?

Thank god for the new job and the team here. I will keep you all up to date on the new career.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Weekend Update

Morning all. Had a great weekend. Hung out with the usual suspects at Cdizz and my co-sponsored BBQ. We did have one interesting guest....which leads me to today's topic. Women and the men they want to "fix".
All women have been victim's of their "fix it" mentality at one point or another. It's usually when we are young and inexperienced. You know, the age when we still innocently believe that everyone has abilities and gifts and if we can just find them and bring them out, anyone can be a successful human being. Well this weekend I realized, in a sad turn of events, I've outgrown this wishful mentality. I now realize some people are just trainwrecks at life. It might be one too many Ayn Rand readings, but individuals are who they want to be and no wishing for them to be otherwise can make that happen.
So I've made friends with one of these life trainwrecks. I'll call him BED. This is in reference to a rather ridiculous tattoo he has. Ladies we know the type; very attractive and has that "bad boy" thing going for him. Anyway, in the hilarity that ensued this weekend, I learned wayyy too much about this fellow. He proved to be entirely predictable in a realistic way. In the past I probably would have been totally sucked in by his "charm" (and by charm I mean good looks only). However, I found myself viewing him as a sort of ...lost puppy or more like an animal at the zoo you go and observe. He managed to tell me his sad (and rather uneventful) life story complete with his various addictions (alcohol, gambling, sex) and his latest attempts at "not being a scumbag" (his direct quote). I almost felt condescending in the very way I looked at him while he overshared this ridiculousness. Satan's theory is that he was attempting to appeal to my "fix it" side. As Satan so cleverly described it...I bombed that idea for him.
Anyway, I guess my realization is that I've learned and fully accepted society will have its winners and losers. It makes things a lot easier, and now I can just appreciate the view without having to deal with a daily trainwreck.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Thatcherism at its finest

"The root of the matter is this: we have been ruled by men who live by illusions: the illusion that you can spend money you haven't earned without eventually going bankrupt or falling into the hands of your creditors; the illusion that real jobs can be conjured into existence by Government decree, like rabbits out of a hat; the illusion that there is some other way of creating wealth than hard work and satisfying your customers; the illusion that you can have freedom and enterprise without believing in free enterprise; the illusion that you can have an effective foreign policy without a strong defense force; and a peacful and orderly society without absolute respect for the law."

- Margaret Thatcher

A winter of discontent in Britain brought this great lady to the world. Will our discontent in America save us?

Thursday, May 6, 2010

How much is a few hundred bucks worth to you?

Dear Former Employer,

Let me first thank you for the experience and lessons I have gathered while working for you over the last few years. Let me provide a specific list of the lessons I so cherish.

1) Lawyers should only strive to serve those who are wealthy. As you always reinforced, those who are without a summer house do not deserve the same level of representation even if their dollars are still good. Never mind your individual integrity and self worth of doing the best job you can for any client.

2) I also want to thank you for teaching me that Christianity is all about tolerance and commitment to doing the best job you can everyday. This includes, the mentality of as long as you can get yours it's okay to cheat anyone and everyone around you. Especially if they can "afford it" what is the sense of doing what is right when you might be able to score some extra goodwill or a couple bucks from bad behavior?

3) It is important to get other people to do as much work for you as possible while striving to do none for yourself.

While these have all been excellent lessons, what I most want to thank you for is living up to your standards of professionalism and courtesy by refusing to pay me for all the hours I worked my last two weeks. Additionally, it was an excellent real-life teaching moment when you relied on one of your employees to fill me in on why you thought you were entitled to do this while you ran tail between your legs from the office.

As the above lessons suggest, you probably assumed it was okay to cheat me out of a few hundred dollars because 1) I have a financial backer, and 2) you were angry about a filing issue. I'm not sure what you thought since you relied on a third party to awkwardly report your feelings to me.

While I will not be contacting the California Bar Association or the California Labor Department to report you regarding this illegal activity, I would like to say thank you so much for ending a business relationship in the most respectful and desirous manner possible. I cannot wait to start my own business someday and use your behavior as a model of how to obtain repeat business and also keep potential future business relationships happy.

I would wish you well in the future. But my guess is you do not need it since you have managed to earn no only my respect and appreciation but anyone I meet in the future regarding attorney referrals will hear about my wonderful experience.

As you would say, God Bless.

Jenny

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Life update.

Since I haven't been around too much on the blog, just thought I would give a general life update from the last few days.
1) This weekend:
Pretty good. Actually, went to two very different parties. Saturday I started at my Protege's BBQ. It was really fun. I really like her and her hubby's cohorts. I plan on forever crashing her events from now on!
Following that I went to Devil'sAdvocate's housewarming party. Cdizz and I happened to be the only right wingers there. I was informed by Devil'sAdvocate beforehand that I was to be mute when politics came up. However, I was poked and irked by general stupidity and liberalism that I was forced to set the record straight. How do you keep silent when one of the attendees insists on calling money earned by military personnel "blood money"? I about died. Following that the liberals began demanding rich people work less so they don't have to pay as much in taxes. I am not kidding. They actually openly admitted they were fine with individuals not reaching their full potential all to avoid taxes; Thus, proving why socialism will stifle a society. Following that ridiculousness they then began asserting why public transportation was necessary. What really irked them was they couldn't "convince" me. The night ended with one shouting at me, as if you talk louder I will then agree. I really am fine with liberals, but I tend to throw them for a loop when I just refuse to agree with their "compassionate giving". That and when I use facts they apparently know nothing of such as basic American and 20th Century Western History.
2) This week:
So far it has been study study study. I am taking tomorrow off to head up to some hot springs. My day off is just in time too- today my brain literally turned off. I can't even understand a basic percentage. So- breaktime.
3) Ayatollah Obama:
Finally, I will leave you with this great news story. I turned on the usual Fox News at lunch and saw that apparently BO attempted to force protesters away from the usual protesting area outside the White House. Of course the White House is denying that the police's attempt to move the protesters was independent of them, but who is actually believing this story? Protesting areas in the nation's capital are used daily and are standard. Apparently the capital police aren't aware of them?
Way to pull a Chavez. Can't wait for the new financial regulations. Also, does anyone else find the Goldman Sachs timing a little bizarre?

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

It's a man's world, at least they still think so.

I love when I'm constantly reminded that women are not as smart or capable as men. All over the place, I see men feeling the need to assert their superiority. It is usually done by some imbecile man trying to assure himself that he is better than the poor helpless woman who clearly needs his capable help.

Today at work I experienced this common attitude. We were discussing my ability to pass a certain upcoming test. Basically, the two idiot men (who failed this test the first round) were attempting to make me feel like I would fail the first time. Apparently their personal intellect and failed experience at the test were an indication of my abilities. It was clear (and my Protege witnessed) they were thinking to themselves "How could this woman do something better and quicker than me with less work?" I think after their attempts to bring me down to where I should be (i.e. lower than them on the mental capability list) it appeared obvious I was still too confident about test. Thus, one of them continued to remind me of his abilities and my apparent lack. He went on to tell me the extreme hours I would have to work in order to move up as quickly as he did. He claimed it took him two years to get to management while the women who started with him were still in the same positions. Again, I suppose his anecdotal evidence and lack of intellect indicates my abilities as a human being to perform well at my job.
All this got me to thinking. Am I attempting to characterize men as evil who want to just "keep us down?" I remembered having a conversation a few months ago with my mother about some other interaction with an imbecile man. My mother reminded me then- "You will be bossed around by some jackass man most of your life, so get used to it." So maybe it is just the tone men in society generally have. It seems to be an ongoing theme in my life.
Let me offramp and explain where I'm coming from. I am absolutely no feminist. I have even been informed my opinions on the differences in sexes and our roles in society are "antiquated". It is true, I do not think men and women are equal in the sense of being the "same". I think we are equal in societal value. But we are not equal in abilities in many areas. I also believe strongly in gender roles, especially in relationships. That being said, I have never met a man who is mentally superior to me in any way. I have met many men who clearly think they are and want to assert their importance and cleverness by raping my ears with their ridiculous comments and observations on the obvious.
I have noticed that a lot of women have decided that men need to feel superior so they allow him to do so. In relationships I see it all the time. The woman decides to let the man dominate all things intellectual. Is this done as a means to make her life easier and not be forced to be constantly reminded of her inferiority or is it done because the role of men must be superior for a stable home life?

I guess my central question is- do we need to let men continue to think they are superior in all things intellectual? Will I have an unhappy life if I am always asserting my abilities 100% even if it means outshining a man? The truth is, I could not be with a man who is not at least my intellectual equal; I must have a man who outshines me intellectually, or at least challenges me. Perhaps that very notion is antiquated. So maybe it is not that women allow the men to feel superior intellectually, but maybe they choose men who are superior intellectually?

I'm just not sure. What I am sure of is my parents taught me that I am a whole and complete person capable of anything I set my mind to. However, others have encouraged me to play a inferior role so a man won't feel threatened and instead will feel needed. I guess I just refuse.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Weekend update and other musings.

Weekend Update: Studied. For those of you who knew my pretend studying skills all through law school and the bar exam, let me assure you- I am not pretending this time. I really did hit the books. I think Saturday I studied four hours straight in one sitting (a lifelong record). Maybe it's the new and improved Mrs. Bauer?

Today, Cdizz sent me a link to a hero's website. It pretty much made all my study complaints moot. There are men and women out there fighting and dying for our country and I'm complaining that I have to take a test so I can potentially make a nice living? Time to abort those complaints. So for now I will try.
Other ramblings I have (my brain is fried). Ever since I started my blog I've been noticing a lot of people have blogs/writings up. If you are on Stalkerbook and you have one- I've read it. I was pleasantly surprised by one I read this weekend. Nothing too deep about that except sometimes people surprise you (or impress you).
Okay that is all for now. I'm a bit wacky. I have shitshow fest 2010 to commence with Cdizz as a study break.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Thank you Joss Whedon.

Today I'm using the blog to make a tribute to Joss Whedon for continuing to create amazingness.

Joss has been an influence on me through most of my formative years. Without Mr. Whedon I would never have attempted to be a Vampire Slayer, nor have wanted to join an evil law firm seeking to open the gates of hell by taking a vampire's soul. I would not have wanted to smuggle my way through space and be a cowboy/pirate all at the same time. In each of his masterpieces we learn that life's true heros are a gang of scoobies that, while the universe underestimates them, ultimately they are the best of us. Champion of the underdog, Joss put my early years into perspective; At least the world was not ending and it was up to me alone to save it.
Today's tribute was caused by watching Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. I've had it sitting on my coffee table for a while now. I guess most of my hesitation was worrying that Joss could not live up to my expectations. He got me through high school in one piece, but would his simple message speak to my now so very intellectual self? (For those of you who don't know me, that was a joke.) Through Dr. Horrible I learned to root again for the underdog. He may be painfully flawed, but he is better than most. Just as I stumbled through rectifying the true wonderfullness and pain that was Buffy (think Becoming) I watched Dr. Horrible face his tragically flawed self; his inner demons. Understanding through his flaws he is human and will find redemption in his better self. Yes, the scoobies faltered everytime in their attempt to save the world, but what united them was always their belief in their better selves; Their redemption was that they had each other. The ultimate message of Joss, is that you cannot do it alone. We should not do it alone.
I just want to thank Joss for continuing to amaze me. I will never forget how Buffy made me feel the first episode I ever saw where Xander turned into a hyena. Through campy plot and quick wit you saved this girl and made her who she is today. But you also proved last night you can continue to teach me lessons that I never fully understood as a child.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Ignore him until he loves you.

I know I said health care. I'm still avoiding. Since this is my blog, I'm making the unilateral decision to wait on that and instead will be teaching those of you who requested a transcript of my man plan. If you follow these steps you too can fail in love and yet continue to complain about it!
Step 1: If he attempts to make contact look away or as annoyed as possible. This usually stops any man from approaching. Or at least they can label you as a cold hag immediately, that way you don't have to actually deal with being your charming witty self and then being rejected.
Step 2: When he calls you send him straight to voicemail and makeup some bullshit excuse about how you're "In the store" or "With a friend". When really you are just too chicken to talk on the phone. In my case, I despise the phone. I'm horrible and awkward on the phone and I hate talking on it. So I avoid this medium thinking that he will be delayed in finding out my slight tardation on the phone until I've already hooked him and then it does not matter.
Step 3: Don't call him back when he does leave a voicemail. This is related to my above feelings. Since I'm horrid on the phone, and it's hard to be super clever and witty without seeing physical ques just don't return his call. He will probably just interpret this as a) you are "playing hard to get" or b) "you're not interested."
Step 4: When he asks for your number tell him "It's okay, you don't have to actually call me." Or something equally lacking confidence. This is done so that way you can claim you told him not to call you and so when he doesn't you knew ahead of time. Men love women who are so under confident they actually request no phone call.
Step 5: If he asks you to "meet up" with him and his friends on a weekend night in a place you actually would want to go to, tell him you can't because you have major plans. Then sit at home and watch reruns of 24. Like step 3, this will be interpreted as you are playing hard to get or not interested. When really the truth is you are not sure he would like your charming self enough and why bother just in case you make an idiot out of yourself?
Step 6: Personally insult his job or area of residence. Then get annoyed when he can't take a joke. If he does make the mistake of taking the joke and throwing a moderately clever one back, up the anti and insult his looks or his wing man's looks. If I ever meet a man clever enough to come back after that, I'm pretty sure he is probably my soulmate. In which case, this step fails at making one fail in love.
Step 7: After he buys you a drink run away to the dance floor with your bestie. Note, you cannot fall in love in Whiskey Girl. Trust me, I know this for a fact.
Step 8: If he seems moderately quality or nice be sure to go on about the latest bad boy you dated, or the various Special Forces guys you like (i.e. Jack Bauer). Listing John Cena movies also has the desired fail affect. This way, you fail big by ignoring a nice guy who might not be a scumbag in favor of a pretend guy who will never commit.
These are just a few of the many steps I've developed in my plan. If you're looking for a true connection then I suppose you might want to go elsewhere. If you want to have fun feeling out the world of dating armed with sarcasm and jadedness, try these. You might be surprised at how hilarious they can make the evening. No, I have not found Mr. Right, but I have had a lot of fun complaining afterwards to my Ehusband.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

When we are grown ups.

There have been times throughout my life when I asked the question "Am I grown up?" When do we actually become individuals who maintain lifestyles that could be considered "adult"? I guess the legal age of "grown up" is 18. But I certainly was not an adult at that age. I certainly was not an adult through college. I think I pretended to be an adult mostly through the first two years of law school. I was still learning the lessons and the makings of being a real individual. I had some knock downs and always got back up. All through this time my decisions generally only affected me.
I think this weekend I learned when we become real life grownups. It's when you recognize the actions you take have consequences for more than just you the individual. It isn't the fun realization you imagine when you're sixteen and think your life is going to be all fun and games until your 110th birthday when you fall asleep and die peacefully. The hardest part of realizing this is that sometimes you have to consider the outcome of another before choosing what you want. Sometimes what you want is not the right choice. What makes a strong adult is someone who chooses the "right" thing even if it isn't popular or fun. As I initially explained in my first entry, you are what you do. Sometimes that is hard to accept. I choose to accept this reality and choose to continuously pursue the right path. I might fail sometimes but will pick myself up and return to what I know is the right way. These choices are hard and will continue to be harder as our actions and decisions grow layers and sometimes the right answer isn't always easy to see. Or for me, I can justify pretty much anything if I try hard enough.
As far as the weekend update. A couple of us ladies at my office painted BabyInTheCorner's kitchen Friday and Saturday. I had a really good time. Something about manual labor puts things in perspective. Last night I went to a friend of a friend's surprise birthday party. Funny small world story about that. This friend of a friend is actually my Stalkerbook friend. Stalkerbook makes the world seem so connected it is creepy. It was pretty cool to meet someone I had interacted with on the world wide web but never in person. And who says the internet makes us antisocial? Most of the people there had all known each other from high school. That was pretty amazing. It was a really good time. (Until the toilets plugged up- true story.) My Russian Friend introduced me to sweet tea and lemonade. YUM.
Hope you all had a fab weekend. I promise, health care blog tomorrow!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

We should all follow our dreams.

I write as I listen to Miley Cyrus...by choice. I think I might have to see her movie this weekend. I know, I'm a horrid person.
So since I told my boss this morning, it is official. Law degree in hand, I'm heading into a competitive industry that just calls my name. I accepted an offer and signed papers to work for the Investment Gurus downtown. I have some financial tests to take before I move into the corner office (jk) and they are ever so kindly sponsoring me. Words cannot describe how excited I am. As my new boss so accurately said it, jump in the cold pool and stop putting your toe in while sitting along the side.
It occurred to me that a lot of people around me are choosing to follow their dreams, even in a hazardous market. Satan has some prospects which would blend his computer tech with his true passion, cars. It basically sounds perfect for him and if all works out he can make money doing the things he loves. Devil'sAdvocate took a risk and went back to school so she could make a career doing something she loves and not something that just "pays the bills". Another friend is looking for a job that incorporates her hobby. I hope we all can be brave and make it happen for us. It is ultimately up to us as individuals to find our way and work hard doing it.
Drinks tonight with the lovely ladies of my office. It will be fun. I will really miss my coworkers and our office environment.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Good days ahead.

Today I woke up with a real life plan. That is something that has never happened to me. I feel like maybe I'm finally on the highway to life ready to get into the fast lane. If we are staying with the "roadway" metaphor, I think my last 20 years have been a bit of a dirt road. The last six months not a county maintained dirt road. (That metaphor was really for my Nevada County peeps.)
I've officially signed my life away with the Investment Gurus. Something one should feel nervous about, but to be honest, I'm ready. I want to bring my A-game and see what challenges are out there. As soon as everything is cleared and official I will let you all know about the big change.
Was talking to Cdizz about how our lives are so divergent. For being besties things never happen for us at the same time. I suppose major life changes don't really time themselves so they can coincide with one's partner in crime. Today I woke up believing that someday, sooner rather than later, we will both be kicking back in Point Loma with our significant others laughing about these last four years.
For now that is all. I have some major topics (read: Healthcare) to discuss, but I'm too happy to allow politics to bring me down. Tomorrow looks as promising as today. Gonna sip some drinks with the girls at work.
Finally, would like to welcome Devil'sAdvocate, while a old player in my life, she is a new character in the blog.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Life is good in SD.

Hello all! Hope you had a great weekend. Awesome time with my Dad. As some of you know, I'm gearing up for a big change in my life and it was nice to enjoy the dwindling weekends of freedom!
Sunday I spent some time with PrettyKitty and Cdizz at our place, Wine Steals. We are officially "regulars" and even have our own rewards cards! Nice times chatting up about life. One lesson from Sunday- sometimes people will never be what you think they should. It's a hard lesson to learn. Take people at face value, because generally their actions are who they are. In the case of this individual, I'll do some additional recon, but don't expect him to meet the expectations I had.
Looking forward to then next weekend already. BabyInTheCorner and I are embarking on some home improvement. Friday I will be helping redo some kitchen cabinets and then Saturday painting. I'll be bringing a massive country playlist and some vodka iced teas for us to enjoy while we slave away. I'm also going to attempt to look moderately not hideous...I don't think impressing men and home improvement generally go together, but it might at least make a good fail at dating round 1 million story for me.

Anyone else thoroughly enjoying this fabulous weather of our great city? I think I'll head out to Mecca for a while...until then- keep the faith.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Truth

Currently listening to "The Truth" by Jason Aldean on repeat. It's one of those country songs I could hear a million times and not stop loving.
Had a nice conversation today with some investment gurus downtown. Finally felt like I'm not alone. Still trying to get my thoughts in order. I must adapt and overcome. The resourceful individuals will do this; The losers and takers will not.
Other mottos in my head: The only easy day was yesterday. I think that is a good life motto right now. I'll stick with that.
Still attempting the eharmony bit. It is just getting less entertaining by the minute. I'm at stage "4", the "open communication", with several of these potential suitors and I have no interest in actually meeting them. I worry it will be like prom, where you get all these expectations of how the potential suitor will be, and FAIL. I also am no longer getting as many rejections...which makes me sad because I was so looking forward to my graph complete with an undefined slope!
Weekend plans are working out fabulously. I am first doing happy hour to celebrate in advance some potentially AWESOME news. I like to jumpstart the celebration before the news actually comes because that is how I roll!
Dad is headed into town Friday afternoon so we will have a FABULOUS weekend. Kayaking, drinking, eating, hiking, the usual Erdmann good times.
Hope you all have a great weekend!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Who is John Galt?

Contrary to popular belief, I have not attempted to end it all after Sunday evening's stab in America's heart. What I have done is pick up Atlas Shrugged and begin rereading.

My question tonight: Who is John Galt? John Galt will save us all if only we would believe. If only we could understand we must worship man the individual, not mankind, the collective. For those of you who have not entered the world of objectivism I urge you, for the sake of your soul. We must learn from John that man cannot depend on others, but only work to find principles within himself. Remember everyday, you must work harder, work longer, and work more than anyone else and only then will you be able to understand the perfection that man can be. Do not make the mistake that liberalism has made in assuming the individual can transfer his energy or intelligence to others.

For those of you who do believe that the individual capitalist will save us all, I extend a hand. Let us conquer. Let us wake up every day and strive and toil while around us others ask "why we should want to help one man instead of a whole nation." Let us remind them that only the individual can help himself and he must help himself to be a whole and complete person.
I cannot write about health care tonight. I am too sad. Well, I should be entirely honest. I will write about health care at the end of this week after I have collected my thoughts and generated information to contradict the ridiculousness of those who wish to make health insurance a right in America. For now, let me remind you all, the Founders only enumerated 10 rights in the Bill of Rights.
For now I'm out.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Hell in a handbasket on a rocketship with napalm.

I'm sure many of us are disappointed in last night's horrendous health care vote. Congrats to those who are happy with the outcome of last night. You fought hard and "won". My question to you is...what exactly did you win?
Did you win a country that is sliding further into the socialist policies that have stunted the European economy since World War II?
Did you win a country no longer founded on personal responsibility and success?
Did you win a country that values those who take more than those who produce?
Did you win a country that slaps the free market in the face when the free market is the single most successful system that mankind has ever seen?
I know it won't be easy, but for all you capitalists out there, do not despair. I believe we are at a pivotal moment. We must stand up and fight back. We must throw these modern day reds out of office and seek to establish a country not based on entitlements but rather the free market, individual freedom, success, and limited government.
Barry Goldwater said it best in his 1964 Acceptance speech for the Republican nomination:
"Those who elevate the state and downgrade the citizen must see ultimately a world in which Earthly power can be substituted for Divine Will, and this nation was founded upon the rejection of that notion and upon the acceptance of God as the author of Freedom."
Downgrading the citizen is exactly what ObamaCare does. We must stand together and fight to deny the statists the ability to define freedom as a government run system where the citizen's choice is limited by a government entity. Our rights as free men are divine rights and no President or Congress has the right to alter them. If we do not unite to stop this socialist path, we will lose the shining beacon of hope that has allowed the world to prosper in a peaceful globalized economy since World War II.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Weekend update early and my list of 10 reasons you are deleted.

Weekend update comes early today. Good times. Generally, hung with Cdizz. We did 3rd Corner last night. Why must such a fabulous place be in OB? Anyway, I always enjoy having our girls nights out.
Today I got up early and cleaned out my eharmony account. I compiled a list of 10 reasons why I will automatically reject a potential suitor.
1) If you are wearing any sort of Ed Hardy apparel. I do not want to date a potential tool academy contestant.
2) If you lack a shirt in any of your photos. Really? I mean, I love some Vin Diesel, but doesn't every girl? I'm looking for a quality guy to date and frankly whether he has rock hard abs is pretty irrelevant to his quality of person or ability to compliment me.
3) If you are posing next to a luxury car. Here is where I separate the men from the boys. I do not care if you drive a BMW or some other overly expensive car. In fact, that makes me not want to date you. However, I do tend to keep the men with pictures next to F-150s, 350s and the like. Additionally, I will even initiate contact if there appears to be mud on the vehicle and/or some sort of motor bike in the bed. Note, I also do not delete pictures with what appear to be muscle cars which are older and it seems the potential suitor is working on. That also is acceptable and shows you have some mad mechanical skills. Manual labor on the weekends is always a plus.
4) If your profile is misspelled or has other typos including lacking proper grammar. This is your first introduction to a woman you might want to date and you can't even capitalize "I" and insist on ending thoughts with "..." Deleted.
5) If your number one requirement is "Chemistry" I'm out. I completely agree chemistry is necessary. However, it just seems to me this really means "I'm looking for some easy ass." Which, easy is not a quality I'm offering. So, I just don't think we will work out.
6) Using profanity in your profile. Your ability to use the f-bomb is the first thing you want me to learn about you?
7) Your name. If your name is anything with a "-" such as "J-Dizzle" (true story). Or any sort of bizarre nickname, delete. I don't want to call you what your roommates in PB call you on a drunken Saturday night at PB Bar and Grill.
8) If you are wearing a Lance Armstrong piece of trash in any of your photos. Firstly, 1999 called and it wants its hideous yellow bracelet back. Secondly, I am also against cancer, but I don't feel the need to wear a piece of trash around my arm to show this. Finally, you are not Lance so give it up. I don't care if you bike 4000 miles a week. You aren't him.
9) If "Working Out" is mentioned more than two times in your profile. I get it. You are in shape and want a girl you date to be in shape. Don't you think there is more to your personality than the fact that you "like to workout"? Your eharmony profile is only so long, and you have NOTHING else to fill it with?
10) If "Happiness" or a "loving free spirit" (true description) is how you describe your ideal match. Well clearly I am not a "Free Spirit" so that is obvious why I would delete you. Mostly the single word description of "happiness" is what you look for in a match bothers me. Isn't that what we are all looking for? How about you pick some other characteristics about the individual which might suggest their quality of person.
Needless to say I have about 3 men left on my list of potential matches. One of them sorta doesn't count either because he is a friend of a friend and I could meet him away from this horrid website.

Happy Sunday!

Friday, March 19, 2010

Non Tardos, Inc. Nominations

Fridays will be my nominating days for Non Tardos, Inc. honorary board memberships. The general rules and requirements for this prestigious honor are as follows:


1) Satan and I as co-founders and co-Presidents of Non Tardos, Inc. are the only individuals with nomination power. However, we will take suggestions into consideration given they meet the below criteria.


2) Those nominated may be individuals and entities.


3) These nominated individuals or entities must follow what I call the "Superman" criteria. Simply, they must act in ways that promote "Truth, Justice, and the American Way".


My nominations for Non Tardos, Inc. honorary board memberships are: Google and Conan O'Brien.


Google: Rumors are they will exit China as soon at April 10th. This is a corporation who is acting socially responsible in a world where very few corporations could do so when faced with potentially astronomical profits. I truly believe freedom and justice will only succeed when private enterprises act with integrity and loyalty to the American way. Kudos to Google.


Conan O'Brien: I am not a late night tv watcher. In fact, I have never seen Conan's show. However, I nominate him because he has made his own way in America and seeks to spread his hard earned wealth to those who have contributed to his success; Mainly, his staff. This week it was discovered that all profits from his upcoming tour will be going to his staff and not him. Prior to this, he negotiated a hefty settlement specifically for his staff. He is a loyal boss and recognizes that his staff will feel the burden of the late show battle and the across country move much more deeply than him given their economic disparity. He shows that the American way includes rewarding those who helped you get to the top.


Satan would like to nominate Alan Mulally, current CEO and President of Ford Motor Company, for being the only person to run a successful automotive company in this market. I direct you to his blog, kostkaFeX, where he will do justice in explaining why he is worthy of a Non Tardos, Inc. membership.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

people with bad credit...a protected class?

Good morning all!
Two mornings ago, I was happily enjoying my daily cup of coffee and WSJ when I was rudely interrupted by a story in the "Personal Journal" section (the most skimmable section in my opinion) about individuals not able to obtain certain jobs because their poor credit rules them out. I thought not too much of it other than sour grapes until I ventured further into the article. Congress is actually considering making a law that would restrict employers from using credit checks to make hiring decisions.
This involvement by Congress bothers me on so many levels. Firstly, free markets people. Employers should be able to use whatever methods they deem appropriate to determine if an individual should be hired. Imagine if an investment firm could not consider employees' credit before they let them advise clients on money management. Secondly, poor credit is a result of individual circumstances and choices. Congress' involvement will only punish those who strive to act financially responsible and protect many who have failed to build credit by going through life behaving irresponsibly. Credit is determined by behavior of an individual and is not a benign physical trait such as hair color or skin color. Thus, Congress should not act to essentially make them a protected class (so accurately described by my Protege!). I swear, we are headed to (as Satan so kindly help me coin): Hell in a handbasket on a rocketship with napalm.
In other news: Happy Saint Patrick's Day!
I'm currently in the process of charting my rejections on eharmony. I think it would make a fabulous demonstration to represent my fail rate in a graph (x = time, y = number of rejections). Now, when I log into eharmony I pray for more rejections so that my graph can be that much more dramatic. Not really helping my dating situation, but eh- I paid, and I think any entertainment I can get out of it helps me get my money's worth.
Going to Hooleys tonight for the Irish day celebration. BabyInTheCorner and my Protege and their respective significant others will hopefully join us. I love that my coworkers are cool chickas but they really deserve their own blog at some point.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Weekend update

Much like my fav blogger Satan, I will be updating you on my weekend fabulousness, follies, and general events.
1) Prepared my taxes. The guy I went to actually made taxes not an entirely horrible experience; entertaining really. There is an entire blog on this event, but eh- I'm tired.
2) Went to Sonoma county and wine tasted a bit with the parents. It's cool when you realize you are no longer a child but a friend and equal. It's also a bit sad, to realize you are a grown up and those days of childhood are only memories now.
3) Airport. Horrid. This also deserves an entire blog. For now I will just say, last time I checked, Al-Qaeda does not tend to have sweater sets from Izod that need to be removed and put through the xray machine. I literally had to take my entire super cute outfit apart.
4) Glad to be back in glorious San Diego.
5) Checked my eharmony immediately upon arrival. I have no idea why. I don't actually think this experiment will be successful, nor am I interested in any of my "matches", but something about it is ADDICTING. Let's just say, rejections are continuing to pile high. I'm talking exponential here. Oh well, I don't lack in self esteem and maybe this little experiment will put me in my place.
For now I'm out. I will return tomorrow with much more energy and quality blogging.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Integrity....and the little guy.

I am a capitalist. I believe the free market is the best and most efficient means of distributing services and products. I believe that the market is best at regulating itself. That being said, I am also a realist. I accept that very limited state involvement is important to keep markets open and fair. I think limited state involvement in a free society based on republican principles is ultimately the best government to perform this limited regulation. Without going into a long and boring offramp, let me just say, for the record, I am against government bailouts. That includes bailouts for: banks, car manufacturers, insurance companies, and individuals. I think the only way to clean out the crap in a cyclical economy is to let the pain run its course.
This is the latest scenario I've seen in the "housing crisis":

Borrowers go to a bank to borrow money to purchase a home. Bank lends them money in good faith. In exchange these individuals enter into a written contract agreeing to pay the money back with interest to the bank over a period of time. The borrowers then begin living in the home, paying the mortgage as they promised to do. They begin enjoying what many feel is the American dream; owning a home. The housing bubble bursts and the market crashes. Fortunately, these borrowers have not lost their job or suffered any financial hardship that would make them unable to continue paying the mortgage. The borrowers then decide they want to stop paying the mortgage because the value of the home has decreased significantly. They are "underwater" and the value of the home is less than the debt they owe to the bank on the home. They eventually enter into a short sale of the home. In a short sale the proceeds of the sale falls below the debt owed on the home. That is, the bank will not recoup the amount of the original bargain.

Now here are the justifications I've heard from such hypothetical borrowers who chose to enter into a shortsale:

1) One claim I saw online was that because some of these banks owe such large amounts to the government, the borrowers who owe to the bank are just a drop in the pale and should not feel obligated to the bank. They listed numbers. It was something like an individual homeowner on average owes 100,000 times less to the bank than the bank owes the feds. (A number I did not investigate, but let's take it at face value because its actual value is irrelevant.)

A simple refute goes something like this: do not use other bad behavior to justify your own. Their general premise is that because the bank made bad investment choices and ran to the federal government for a bailout they, as the borrowers, are entitled to act equally poorly and stiff the bank. What a third party does is irrelevant to your own integrity. These borrowers try to further their justification by using some asinine ratio about the amount they promised to pay versus the amount the bank promised to pay a third party. I ask, what is the value of your integrity?

2) This claim is related the previous one. Borrowers will argue that they are just screwing over a "big corporation" who can afford it. So it really does not matter. Let's use Bank of America as a simple example. This evil corporation is listed on the New York Stock Exchange, and thus, is publicly traded. By definition, a publicly traded company is owned by its shareholders. Who tends to be shareholders? Well, often public pension funds are invested in publicly traded companies. Who gets public pensions? Teachers, DMV workers, social workers, and other government workers. Also, private pensions are invested in publicly traded companies. That includes: auto workers, truck drivers, doctors, accountants, etc. What about mutual funds? Yes, they are also invested in publicly traded companies. As you might have guessed where I'm going with this, mutual fund holders include the average middle class and upper middle class earners. Simply put, when borrowers "screw over" the "evil corporation" they are essentially harming the value of their own neighbors' investment portfolios and retirement plans.

3) The third argument I've heard is these borrowers are doing what any rational actor in a capitalist system would do and bail on a poor investment. Well a "rational capitalist system" requires dependence on contractual agreements. When contracts no longer operate as the framework to set expectations of lenders and borrowers, the system breaks down. Would you lend money to someone under a contract if you knew that the contract could just be ignored when the borrower felt it convenient to him? When you bail on your contractual agreement, you are essentially breaking down the very system that enabled you to purchase a home. My new favorite is the complaint that only borrowers with extremely high credit scores can get credit. Consequences much?

4) Others claim that the bank misled them into entering into the loan initially. This is my personal favorite. Personal responsibility people. When you choose to sign your name on the dotted line, you better be sure. If you are not, get an attorney or other specialist to go over the documents with you.

5) I'm entitled to a "bailout" and want my share of "government money." There is no such thing as "government money". Government money is essentially, your money. Whether you pay it directly to the government or not, you will pay in the end. How does that work? Well the usual claim is the "rich" will pay, not the innocent plebes. Isn't your employer rich? If your rich employer has less money to spend because he is paying for your mortgage, there will be no upcoming raise, or additional hiring. He may cut back on the perks you once enjoyed at your job. Potentially, he will go so far as laying individuals off. Additionally, when you squeeze the rich, they give up yachts and a new Porsche. You give up a raise that would have paid for your family trip to Sea World. Who really hurts in the end?

Integrity is my central issue with these borrowers. For me, integrity is simply doing the right thing when no one is looking; Doing the right thing even if it is not popular or easy. How can you make an agreement, in writing, and then decide that after the other side has performed their agreed part you just "don't want to" anymore? The bank has given you a loan; Possibly in the amount of hundreds of thousands of dollars. You were able to enjoy the benefit of the bargain and purchased a home you would never have had if the bank had not extended you credit.

Just seems like a flawed plan on how to go through life to me.

Online Dating is a FAIL.

Goodmorning all!

So as many of you probably already know, I've recently reattempted online dating. Previously I was on match.com. That was a total shitshow. I'm now trying eharmony. It appears this one will turn out the same. Now let me preface my rant with why, likely, these mediums of dating will inevitably fail for me:

1) I hate dealing with "dating" in general. I am the most awkward person when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex. Don't get me wrong- at work and other areas of my life, the opposite sex is just fine. If anything I beat them into submission. But when it comes to potentially romantic interactions I shut down and want nothing to do with it.

2) I hate how fake the people on these websites are. I mean, you sort of have to be. You fill out this form to tell the world how fabulous you are. One of the questions is seriously "what are you looking for in a significant other." I'm like- how much time do you have? I guess I should not post a list of my top 100 things?

3) Most people (this includes women) are crap. One does not realize this until they are all on your computer screen raping your eyes with their "wit" and "sexy" photos. The "sexy" photos really deserve a whole other blog.

4) My biggest problem is I'm a routine Nazi. I view these potential dates as "cramping my style." I get two weekend nights. I don't want to waste them with some idiot I met online who will not be nearly as fun as a) Cdizz, b) catching up on my DVR, or c) washing my hair.

So the eharmony experience has gone something like this:

1) Start profile in a moment of weakness. I was attempting to "take charge" of my life for 2010 and find my "soulmate" (which is a concept I do not even believe in, but I did for that moment).

2) The website initially told me I had no matches. Duh, I have no matches, that is why I'm on this stupid thing. So what did a girl do? The most unreasonable thing possible. I changed my dating filters and lowered my standards just so someone would show up in my "matches". Upon lowering my standards dramatically, I received a barrage of "matches". Coincidence? Perhaps this is a learning moment.

3) So now, I'm two and half days in, and have been REJECTED by more men than I have ever collectively approached in my entire life. These men are rejecting me left and right. Most of them are rejecting me before I even see them as a "match". Does that mean I am a "match" and immediately upon notification they log in only to reject me? Of course I have overly freaked out and gone through my profile about 45 times to see what they don't like about me. My pictures are cute, my answers are as honest as I can be for that site. Is it because I read? If I'm being honest, I have a conservative disclaimer. So that might be it...but still.

4) Well, the one positive thing I do like about eharmony is that it does make rejection fun and easy. As soon as I got my first "closed match" notice...I immediately began closing all the matches of individuals who did not seem to be my soulmate (note that is about all of them).

I'll will obviously keep you posted on the exciting (or lack thereof) dating potentials.

In other news, a friend is going through a rough time right now- and it really makes this whole post a bit irrelevant. Some people have serious problems. I realize this. I just hope you can all find some humor in my attempt at normalcy.

Monday, March 8, 2010

The interaction that inspired me.

Now that I've appropriately introduced myself let me get started with the story that made me feel the need to work my aggressions out on the world wide web and potentially rape your eyes with my whining.

It all started last week with a political posting on Stalkerbook. We can call this alleged poster DoubleL. DoubleL had a post up complaining about a Senator Jim Bunning blocking the extension of unemployment benefits. DoubleL then added, ever so thoughtfully, that she thought this guy was a "prick". Let me first offramp to explain my initial problem that prompted me to comment. We need to raise the level of discourse in this country. If you know me at all, you know I absolutely hate certain politicos and policies. Also, from time to time I will put a lovely status up describing how I feel. I do this with the intention that individuals will comment. They may comment whether they agree or not. I also hope they feel free to comment without worrying about unnecessary or irrational wrath. So let's get back to the interaction. I commented on this status saying "we have no money." Which is true. We have ZERO dollars. Whispers in Washington halls are even throwing out default. America is in SERIOUS economic crisis (all for another post). I personally believe if we don't stop spending now we are going to face an economic crisis of astronomical proportions.

We all know how Stalkerbook goes. One person says something, someone responds. To be honest, I don't remember the exact wording or the play-by-play. It went something to this effect:
Me: we have no money

DoubleL: so people should starve and die

***offramp: Always my favorite when people try to pull the "road to perdition" argument and argue against something you did not say.

Me: Not at all what I'm advocating. My point was that America is broke and we are going to have to make some tough choices in the next year. I think there is more to it than him just being an asshole.

DoubleL: I think you should go to the food shelter I work at and tell that to their faces.

***offramp: Your anecdotal evidence does not make for a factual argument. Nor did I miss the usual attempt of a liberal to point out how he/she does so much for the community while you, the evil Republican, are shit and don't do anything.

At this point I don't really remember what I said. I know it was something about paygo. Plus, I'll admit, I knew the liberal was in a tizzy at this point and couldn't help myself from continuing to poke.

Me: [something about paygo and facts.]

DoubleL: you have lost this argument

***offramp: um WTF. Is this how arguments go for liberals? ATTENTION: Saying something out loud or typing it on Stalkerbook does not make it true.

Me: I'm confused. Could you point out where I was factually incorrect.

Okay- now here is where I get really foggy because I literally cannot remember the entire monologue of a response. To sum it up, I iPhoned into Stalkerbook's notifications, only to discover this rant took up my entire phone screen.

Summary of DoubleL: You have never had it rough. You have never had to put groceries on a credit card, rent a studio, drive a used car, insert other things I haven't done. Your talk of making "tough choices" is hollow because you have never had to make a tough choice in your life. Until you have had to do any of that, your opinion is useless.

***offramp: this is a very short and edited version of what was said to me. It was basically an entire two paragraph diatribe on why I am a spoiled American, who shouldn't have an opinion.

Me: So essentially, because I have been very fortunate, I cannot comment on issues such as the federal deficits or social policy? We need to raise the level of discourse in this country. My point was simply, that personal attacks are unnecessary and serve no purpose.

DoubleL: "DELETE" - yup, she deleted me as a friend. Otherwise I would have just simply posted the whole thing on my blog! So let me unpack this situation and explain my general problems and/or conclusions from this.

1) I still maintain, if you put something up on Stalkerbook that is political in nature, please expect others to comment even if they disagree.

2) DoubleL purposely insulted me in her last post as an attempt to point out that my opinion is moot. Her general argument was that I would have to experience being poor to have an opinion on the subject. Let me analogize: Do we need to be soldiers to have an opinion on foreign policy or national security? Do we need to have children to have an opinion on correct ways to punish them? Do we need to be property owners to vote on initiatives that affect property rights in CA? Or the nuclear option for liberals: do I need to be gay to have an opinion on gay marriage? The answer is most obviously NO to all these. While I will admit, openly, that I am VERY lucky. I indeed do not know what it is like to be poor. I hope I never do. But it is a really scary world when one person's opinions are more valid than another because of social status. Think of this scenario in reverse; Only the opinions of the rich matter.

3) Throughout the interaction she did the general liberal scenario. I give to my community (in DoubleL's situation by volunteering at a food shelter) and now I'm going to insinuate you don't. On top of it, I will also insinuate that you hope people starve and die in the street. Can we please stop with the attempted guilt trips? Volunteering in your community is fabulous. It is also an individual choice. DoubleL has no idea what kind of things I choose to spend my time doing. Additionally, the attempt to depict me as a modern day Hitler because I pointed out that we are broke. Let me announce to you liberals...this is reality. Yes, I wish I could come to "should" island with DoubleL where we have unlimited funds, and great parties with lots of drugs. Unfortunately, I live in "is" land. Here, America has no money to spend on anyone. Suggesting that a Senator blocked extending benefits because of other reasons then him just being a "prick" does not mean I wish people to suffer and die.

4) Taking it personal. This was probably not the most shocking of the whole thing. As a general rule, I try to keep things about the facts at hand. DoubleL's personal situation is not a topic we are discussing. So I continue to wonder why she thought it was okay to personally attack me on a public website where we have mutual friends. It is just mean. There I said it- it is mean. No, I am not shocked (she has a history of this) and nor did I actually care what her opinion of me was. It was just disappointing because these personal attacks are generally what I've come to expect from liberals when they are losing their argument or at a loss for facts to support their position.

5) Finally, the most upsetting thing about the whole interaction is that DoubleL is really dating a friend. She isn't even my friend. She knowingly took things to a personal level with no consideration of my friend and her situation as an awkward third party. It would be like me personally insulting my boyfriend's friend and then deleting him without any regard to the situation that I put my boyfriend in. I have gone out with this couple and invited them to my home to entertain them. Unfortunately, DoubleL will no longer be welcome, and I will have to put my friend in the middle. Additionally, I will not be attending anything at my friend's home because DoubleL lives there and has made her opinion of me quiet clear.

One positive thing, at least I know what she really thinks of me now. There was no "hide the ball" with this interaction. It makes things easier for any potential future dealings.
Regrettably, this is a very common situation I've had when dealing with liberalism. I do honestly enjoy political discussions and disagreements. I think we can all learn something from one another. Unfortunately, it has been my experience that interactions with liberals mainly turn to personal attacks. Plus, when they get their claws out- they are totally in for the kill. Let me please say there are a few liberals whom I have generally enjoyed discussions with and you are not included in this overall complaint (if I'm still debating with you on Stalkerbook or AIM you are excluded!).