I am not here to build your self esteem. I am not the torch to illuminate your ignorance. Most importantly, I'm not here to make friends or influence people. If you do not know me, I direct you to my first entry as a means of introducing who I am and where I'm coming from.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Life update.

Since I haven't been around too much on the blog, just thought I would give a general life update from the last few days.
1) This weekend:
Pretty good. Actually, went to two very different parties. Saturday I started at my Protege's BBQ. It was really fun. I really like her and her hubby's cohorts. I plan on forever crashing her events from now on!
Following that I went to Devil'sAdvocate's housewarming party. Cdizz and I happened to be the only right wingers there. I was informed by Devil'sAdvocate beforehand that I was to be mute when politics came up. However, I was poked and irked by general stupidity and liberalism that I was forced to set the record straight. How do you keep silent when one of the attendees insists on calling money earned by military personnel "blood money"? I about died. Following that the liberals began demanding rich people work less so they don't have to pay as much in taxes. I am not kidding. They actually openly admitted they were fine with individuals not reaching their full potential all to avoid taxes; Thus, proving why socialism will stifle a society. Following that ridiculousness they then began asserting why public transportation was necessary. What really irked them was they couldn't "convince" me. The night ended with one shouting at me, as if you talk louder I will then agree. I really am fine with liberals, but I tend to throw them for a loop when I just refuse to agree with their "compassionate giving". That and when I use facts they apparently know nothing of such as basic American and 20th Century Western History.
2) This week:
So far it has been study study study. I am taking tomorrow off to head up to some hot springs. My day off is just in time too- today my brain literally turned off. I can't even understand a basic percentage. So- breaktime.
3) Ayatollah Obama:
Finally, I will leave you with this great news story. I turned on the usual Fox News at lunch and saw that apparently BO attempted to force protesters away from the usual protesting area outside the White House. Of course the White House is denying that the police's attempt to move the protesters was independent of them, but who is actually believing this story? Protesting areas in the nation's capital are used daily and are standard. Apparently the capital police aren't aware of them?
Way to pull a Chavez. Can't wait for the new financial regulations. Also, does anyone else find the Goldman Sachs timing a little bizarre?

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

It's a man's world, at least they still think so.

I love when I'm constantly reminded that women are not as smart or capable as men. All over the place, I see men feeling the need to assert their superiority. It is usually done by some imbecile man trying to assure himself that he is better than the poor helpless woman who clearly needs his capable help.

Today at work I experienced this common attitude. We were discussing my ability to pass a certain upcoming test. Basically, the two idiot men (who failed this test the first round) were attempting to make me feel like I would fail the first time. Apparently their personal intellect and failed experience at the test were an indication of my abilities. It was clear (and my Protege witnessed) they were thinking to themselves "How could this woman do something better and quicker than me with less work?" I think after their attempts to bring me down to where I should be (i.e. lower than them on the mental capability list) it appeared obvious I was still too confident about test. Thus, one of them continued to remind me of his abilities and my apparent lack. He went on to tell me the extreme hours I would have to work in order to move up as quickly as he did. He claimed it took him two years to get to management while the women who started with him were still in the same positions. Again, I suppose his anecdotal evidence and lack of intellect indicates my abilities as a human being to perform well at my job.
All this got me to thinking. Am I attempting to characterize men as evil who want to just "keep us down?" I remembered having a conversation a few months ago with my mother about some other interaction with an imbecile man. My mother reminded me then- "You will be bossed around by some jackass man most of your life, so get used to it." So maybe it is just the tone men in society generally have. It seems to be an ongoing theme in my life.
Let me offramp and explain where I'm coming from. I am absolutely no feminist. I have even been informed my opinions on the differences in sexes and our roles in society are "antiquated". It is true, I do not think men and women are equal in the sense of being the "same". I think we are equal in societal value. But we are not equal in abilities in many areas. I also believe strongly in gender roles, especially in relationships. That being said, I have never met a man who is mentally superior to me in any way. I have met many men who clearly think they are and want to assert their importance and cleverness by raping my ears with their ridiculous comments and observations on the obvious.
I have noticed that a lot of women have decided that men need to feel superior so they allow him to do so. In relationships I see it all the time. The woman decides to let the man dominate all things intellectual. Is this done as a means to make her life easier and not be forced to be constantly reminded of her inferiority or is it done because the role of men must be superior for a stable home life?

I guess my central question is- do we need to let men continue to think they are superior in all things intellectual? Will I have an unhappy life if I am always asserting my abilities 100% even if it means outshining a man? The truth is, I could not be with a man who is not at least my intellectual equal; I must have a man who outshines me intellectually, or at least challenges me. Perhaps that very notion is antiquated. So maybe it is not that women allow the men to feel superior intellectually, but maybe they choose men who are superior intellectually?

I'm just not sure. What I am sure of is my parents taught me that I am a whole and complete person capable of anything I set my mind to. However, others have encouraged me to play a inferior role so a man won't feel threatened and instead will feel needed. I guess I just refuse.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Weekend update and other musings.

Weekend Update: Studied. For those of you who knew my pretend studying skills all through law school and the bar exam, let me assure you- I am not pretending this time. I really did hit the books. I think Saturday I studied four hours straight in one sitting (a lifelong record). Maybe it's the new and improved Mrs. Bauer?

Today, Cdizz sent me a link to a hero's website. It pretty much made all my study complaints moot. There are men and women out there fighting and dying for our country and I'm complaining that I have to take a test so I can potentially make a nice living? Time to abort those complaints. So for now I will try.
Other ramblings I have (my brain is fried). Ever since I started my blog I've been noticing a lot of people have blogs/writings up. If you are on Stalkerbook and you have one- I've read it. I was pleasantly surprised by one I read this weekend. Nothing too deep about that except sometimes people surprise you (or impress you).
Okay that is all for now. I'm a bit wacky. I have shitshow fest 2010 to commence with Cdizz as a study break.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Thank you Joss Whedon.

Today I'm using the blog to make a tribute to Joss Whedon for continuing to create amazingness.

Joss has been an influence on me through most of my formative years. Without Mr. Whedon I would never have attempted to be a Vampire Slayer, nor have wanted to join an evil law firm seeking to open the gates of hell by taking a vampire's soul. I would not have wanted to smuggle my way through space and be a cowboy/pirate all at the same time. In each of his masterpieces we learn that life's true heros are a gang of scoobies that, while the universe underestimates them, ultimately they are the best of us. Champion of the underdog, Joss put my early years into perspective; At least the world was not ending and it was up to me alone to save it.
Today's tribute was caused by watching Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. I've had it sitting on my coffee table for a while now. I guess most of my hesitation was worrying that Joss could not live up to my expectations. He got me through high school in one piece, but would his simple message speak to my now so very intellectual self? (For those of you who don't know me, that was a joke.) Through Dr. Horrible I learned to root again for the underdog. He may be painfully flawed, but he is better than most. Just as I stumbled through rectifying the true wonderfullness and pain that was Buffy (think Becoming) I watched Dr. Horrible face his tragically flawed self; his inner demons. Understanding through his flaws he is human and will find redemption in his better self. Yes, the scoobies faltered everytime in their attempt to save the world, but what united them was always their belief in their better selves; Their redemption was that they had each other. The ultimate message of Joss, is that you cannot do it alone. We should not do it alone.
I just want to thank Joss for continuing to amaze me. I will never forget how Buffy made me feel the first episode I ever saw where Xander turned into a hyena. Through campy plot and quick wit you saved this girl and made her who she is today. But you also proved last night you can continue to teach me lessons that I never fully understood as a child.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Ignore him until he loves you.

I know I said health care. I'm still avoiding. Since this is my blog, I'm making the unilateral decision to wait on that and instead will be teaching those of you who requested a transcript of my man plan. If you follow these steps you too can fail in love and yet continue to complain about it!
Step 1: If he attempts to make contact look away or as annoyed as possible. This usually stops any man from approaching. Or at least they can label you as a cold hag immediately, that way you don't have to actually deal with being your charming witty self and then being rejected.
Step 2: When he calls you send him straight to voicemail and makeup some bullshit excuse about how you're "In the store" or "With a friend". When really you are just too chicken to talk on the phone. In my case, I despise the phone. I'm horrible and awkward on the phone and I hate talking on it. So I avoid this medium thinking that he will be delayed in finding out my slight tardation on the phone until I've already hooked him and then it does not matter.
Step 3: Don't call him back when he does leave a voicemail. This is related to my above feelings. Since I'm horrid on the phone, and it's hard to be super clever and witty without seeing physical ques just don't return his call. He will probably just interpret this as a) you are "playing hard to get" or b) "you're not interested."
Step 4: When he asks for your number tell him "It's okay, you don't have to actually call me." Or something equally lacking confidence. This is done so that way you can claim you told him not to call you and so when he doesn't you knew ahead of time. Men love women who are so under confident they actually request no phone call.
Step 5: If he asks you to "meet up" with him and his friends on a weekend night in a place you actually would want to go to, tell him you can't because you have major plans. Then sit at home and watch reruns of 24. Like step 3, this will be interpreted as you are playing hard to get or not interested. When really the truth is you are not sure he would like your charming self enough and why bother just in case you make an idiot out of yourself?
Step 6: Personally insult his job or area of residence. Then get annoyed when he can't take a joke. If he does make the mistake of taking the joke and throwing a moderately clever one back, up the anti and insult his looks or his wing man's looks. If I ever meet a man clever enough to come back after that, I'm pretty sure he is probably my soulmate. In which case, this step fails at making one fail in love.
Step 7: After he buys you a drink run away to the dance floor with your bestie. Note, you cannot fall in love in Whiskey Girl. Trust me, I know this for a fact.
Step 8: If he seems moderately quality or nice be sure to go on about the latest bad boy you dated, or the various Special Forces guys you like (i.e. Jack Bauer). Listing John Cena movies also has the desired fail affect. This way, you fail big by ignoring a nice guy who might not be a scumbag in favor of a pretend guy who will never commit.
These are just a few of the many steps I've developed in my plan. If you're looking for a true connection then I suppose you might want to go elsewhere. If you want to have fun feeling out the world of dating armed with sarcasm and jadedness, try these. You might be surprised at how hilarious they can make the evening. No, I have not found Mr. Right, but I have had a lot of fun complaining afterwards to my Ehusband.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

When we are grown ups.

There have been times throughout my life when I asked the question "Am I grown up?" When do we actually become individuals who maintain lifestyles that could be considered "adult"? I guess the legal age of "grown up" is 18. But I certainly was not an adult at that age. I certainly was not an adult through college. I think I pretended to be an adult mostly through the first two years of law school. I was still learning the lessons and the makings of being a real individual. I had some knock downs and always got back up. All through this time my decisions generally only affected me.
I think this weekend I learned when we become real life grownups. It's when you recognize the actions you take have consequences for more than just you the individual. It isn't the fun realization you imagine when you're sixteen and think your life is going to be all fun and games until your 110th birthday when you fall asleep and die peacefully. The hardest part of realizing this is that sometimes you have to consider the outcome of another before choosing what you want. Sometimes what you want is not the right choice. What makes a strong adult is someone who chooses the "right" thing even if it isn't popular or fun. As I initially explained in my first entry, you are what you do. Sometimes that is hard to accept. I choose to accept this reality and choose to continuously pursue the right path. I might fail sometimes but will pick myself up and return to what I know is the right way. These choices are hard and will continue to be harder as our actions and decisions grow layers and sometimes the right answer isn't always easy to see. Or for me, I can justify pretty much anything if I try hard enough.
As far as the weekend update. A couple of us ladies at my office painted BabyInTheCorner's kitchen Friday and Saturday. I had a really good time. Something about manual labor puts things in perspective. Last night I went to a friend of a friend's surprise birthday party. Funny small world story about that. This friend of a friend is actually my Stalkerbook friend. Stalkerbook makes the world seem so connected it is creepy. It was pretty cool to meet someone I had interacted with on the world wide web but never in person. And who says the internet makes us antisocial? Most of the people there had all known each other from high school. That was pretty amazing. It was a really good time. (Until the toilets plugged up- true story.) My Russian Friend introduced me to sweet tea and lemonade. YUM.
Hope you all had a fab weekend. I promise, health care blog tomorrow!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

We should all follow our dreams.

I write as I listen to Miley Cyrus...by choice. I think I might have to see her movie this weekend. I know, I'm a horrid person.
So since I told my boss this morning, it is official. Law degree in hand, I'm heading into a competitive industry that just calls my name. I accepted an offer and signed papers to work for the Investment Gurus downtown. I have some financial tests to take before I move into the corner office (jk) and they are ever so kindly sponsoring me. Words cannot describe how excited I am. As my new boss so accurately said it, jump in the cold pool and stop putting your toe in while sitting along the side.
It occurred to me that a lot of people around me are choosing to follow their dreams, even in a hazardous market. Satan has some prospects which would blend his computer tech with his true passion, cars. It basically sounds perfect for him and if all works out he can make money doing the things he loves. Devil'sAdvocate took a risk and went back to school so she could make a career doing something she loves and not something that just "pays the bills". Another friend is looking for a job that incorporates her hobby. I hope we all can be brave and make it happen for us. It is ultimately up to us as individuals to find our way and work hard doing it.
Drinks tonight with the lovely ladies of my office. It will be fun. I will really miss my coworkers and our office environment.